Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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