hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
