dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
