if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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