That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Randomize
