We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
