i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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