I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
