areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
