She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
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On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
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It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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