Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
