Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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