When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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