i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
