Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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