She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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