I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
