JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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