Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
