I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
