sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
