You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
only if we run a train.
done.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
