Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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