1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
