I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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