So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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