Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
