OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
