I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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