do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The maid of honor just puked.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I look better un-naked...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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