either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
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yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.