chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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