I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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