OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
