I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
