i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
