Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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