I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Randomize
