Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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