you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
