I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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