I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
