All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
