Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
