I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
