I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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