the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
