His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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