I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
