I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize