This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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