i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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