I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
