i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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