We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
