Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
