what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i love accidental penises.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
