You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
