I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
