well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
