we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
