You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
