Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
