The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
