Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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