I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
