He is such a slut. More and more my type.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
