It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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