then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
