I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
