Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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