uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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