no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
