I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
