Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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