Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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